I have no earthly idea what day it is

I told you I was bad about keeping up with stuff lol!!

A lot has happened since my last blog. I took a new job.............lasted a week, quit...................then took another job and I'm still there and trying to work some hours at my first job. My new job is a WONDERFUL 8 to 4 Monday through Friday NO HOLIDAYS OR WEEKENDS its so great!!! I'm loving being amongst the living again. You really take for granted being able to be up during the day and actually sleeping at night once you've worked night shift.............12 hour shifts at that. Until I can get back on my feet financially I am having to work a pretty tough schedule: my monday through friday job and then after leaving my day job at 4pm on fridays, trying to take a nap somewhere so I can clock in at 6:30pm and work till 7 am. Yeah, I know..............I'm CrAzY!!

I have some bad news, I've fallen WAY off track with my diet and I'm ok with it b/c this is a transition. A few weeks ago I had a feeling I was going in the wrong direction by trying a lot of cooked vegan recipes. I felt that since I was working toward being a RAW vegan that I should be trying more raw vegan stuff rather than cooked vegan stuff. Even though I have kept my good attitude and mood...........which now I'm almost convinced it's the progesterone from the IUD affecting my mood b/c my diet SUCKS right now.

I was doing VERY good until last Wednesday 10/14, which was my first day at my new job. I was so hungry when I left I could have eaten my arm. I wound up going over to my b/f house and they had some chicken casserole, mashed potatoes and creamed corn. I dug right in to it ALL. It had meat, cheese, milk and everything I've been avoiding in it. I figured it would tear my stomach up really bad, but at the time I didn't care b/c I was so hungry. Unfortunately, the food did NOT upset my stomach and I've been eating very badly ever since.

It was easy to stay away from the milk, cheese, and meat as long as I was afraid it would seriously hurt my stomach and make me feel like crap. But now I know it won't affect the way I feel, except I don't have my elevated energy levels.

I've been eating candy at work, ate chick-fil-a nuggets and fries at work for lunch friday, taco bell for supper friday night, still full almost all day saturday, red lobster saturday evening, waffle house sunday morning. Then today I had a fajita for lunch today, it wasn't that bad except the white flour tortilla and the chicken but it had: beans, rice, guac, tomatoes, onions, peppers, lettuce, hot sauce and it was all cooked lightly in olive oil. I think the only thing saving me right now is the fact that I'm still having my smoothie for breakfast every morning.

I'm very discouraged b/c since I started putting myself first; meaning I buy groceries first then pay bills; I've gotten myself in a HUGE bind. I'm now 3 months behind on my car payment and some other big bills. I have to find a good medium: Healthy as I can be but still affordable enough to stay on top of my bills and not get behind again.

This week I'm trying to only eat 3 times a day with nothing in between, not eating at least 3 hours before I go to bed. I've GOT to cut out all the sweets I've been consuming at work and focus on getting as much veggies in as I can. I'm not going to beat myself up over eating fish or chicken as long as the meal has more veggies than anything. I have to keep remaining myself that even though I may "fall off track" I know where I'm heading and it IS going to take some time since I have 28 years of eating habits to reverse. I'm trying to keep my daily morning smoothies and hopefully my budget will allow me to do this. As long as I never lose sight of my goal I'll be ok no matter how many times I "fall off track".