I have no earthly idea what day it is

I told you I was bad about keeping up with stuff lol!!

A lot has happened since my last blog. I took a new job.............lasted a week, quit...................then took another job and I'm still there and trying to work some hours at my first job. My new job is a WONDERFUL 8 to 4 Monday through Friday NO HOLIDAYS OR WEEKENDS its so great!!! I'm loving being amongst the living again. You really take for granted being able to be up during the day and actually sleeping at night once you've worked night shift.............12 hour shifts at that. Until I can get back on my feet financially I am having to work a pretty tough schedule: my monday through friday job and then after leaving my day job at 4pm on fridays, trying to take a nap somewhere so I can clock in at 6:30pm and work till 7 am. Yeah, I know..............I'm CrAzY!!

I have some bad news, I've fallen WAY off track with my diet and I'm ok with it b/c this is a transition. A few weeks ago I had a feeling I was going in the wrong direction by trying a lot of cooked vegan recipes. I felt that since I was working toward being a RAW vegan that I should be trying more raw vegan stuff rather than cooked vegan stuff. Even though I have kept my good attitude and mood...........which now I'm almost convinced it's the progesterone from the IUD affecting my mood b/c my diet SUCKS right now.

I was doing VERY good until last Wednesday 10/14, which was my first day at my new job. I was so hungry when I left I could have eaten my arm. I wound up going over to my b/f house and they had some chicken casserole, mashed potatoes and creamed corn. I dug right in to it ALL. It had meat, cheese, milk and everything I've been avoiding in it. I figured it would tear my stomach up really bad, but at the time I didn't care b/c I was so hungry. Unfortunately, the food did NOT upset my stomach and I've been eating very badly ever since.

It was easy to stay away from the milk, cheese, and meat as long as I was afraid it would seriously hurt my stomach and make me feel like crap. But now I know it won't affect the way I feel, except I don't have my elevated energy levels.

I've been eating candy at work, ate chick-fil-a nuggets and fries at work for lunch friday, taco bell for supper friday night, still full almost all day saturday, red lobster saturday evening, waffle house sunday morning. Then today I had a fajita for lunch today, it wasn't that bad except the white flour tortilla and the chicken but it had: beans, rice, guac, tomatoes, onions, peppers, lettuce, hot sauce and it was all cooked lightly in olive oil. I think the only thing saving me right now is the fact that I'm still having my smoothie for breakfast every morning.

I'm very discouraged b/c since I started putting myself first; meaning I buy groceries first then pay bills; I've gotten myself in a HUGE bind. I'm now 3 months behind on my car payment and some other big bills. I have to find a good medium: Healthy as I can be but still affordable enough to stay on top of my bills and not get behind again.

This week I'm trying to only eat 3 times a day with nothing in between, not eating at least 3 hours before I go to bed. I've GOT to cut out all the sweets I've been consuming at work and focus on getting as much veggies in as I can. I'm not going to beat myself up over eating fish or chicken as long as the meal has more veggies than anything. I have to keep remaining myself that even though I may "fall off track" I know where I'm heading and it IS going to take some time since I have 28 years of eating habits to reverse. I'm trying to keep my daily morning smoothies and hopefully my budget will allow me to do this. As long as I never lose sight of my goal I'll be ok no matter how many times I "fall off track".

Day 42

Sorry I haven't been around for a while, I didn't forget about blogging I'm just not really good at sticking with anything for very long SORRY! I'm working on trying to change that through my journey so I'm back after 4 days.



Lets see since I've last blogged I went through a bad bout with depression. Me and my bf got into it again which is not not unusual but this time I thought it was for real over. I used to have a slight problem with pain pills. I would only use them when I needed them but when I did need them I took them a bit longer than I really needed to. I loved the feeling I got from them, the warm and fuzzy feeling and some even made me race around with tons of energy. I just always seemed to feel good and happy!



I honestly didn't want to take any pain meds when I had my kidney stones but I HAD to get relief so I took the bare minimum. When me and the bf got into it I just wanted to sleep so I took out the bottle of left over pain meds and took one that night and woke up the next morning and took more so I would sleep all day. I stopped after that morning and said I wasn't going to hurt my body just because I was unhappy.



Luckily for me I stopped when I did b/c last friday 9/25, I had an IUD placed (since I've heard that a raw vegan lifestyle will make you more fertile) and I was told to take some Advil or Tylenol before I came. Well I have a very high pain tolerance so I have been dealing with my horrible cramps without assistance from meds so I could do the IUD placement without assistance too. O boy was I WRONG! I passed out from the pain and was very sick from it. After an hour of waiting around at the dr's office dealing with nausea and multiple BM's and sweats I drove home. I had to pull over twice to vomit but as soon as I made it home I had to take something b/c this pain was so unbearable. I was chilling at this point and my lips were purple. I went ahead and took more of my pain meds I had left over from the kidney stones.



The pain finally came under control after I fell asleep for about 2 hours. I finished off the rest of my pain meds and for the past few days I have been taking ibuprofen. Today I did not take anything as my cramps are starting to taper off to the point I can handle them on my own.



My face looks awful. I know its from the meds! I'm breaking out so bad and I know its just the meds exiting my body but I've started putting on make-up. Its been almost a month or over a month since my face has started breaking out and I'm just over it.



I have been experimenting with more vegan dishes like mock chicken salad and tofu dishes. I'm starting to feel like I'm drifting away from my goal. I feel like I need to be experimenting more with raw food dishes than with vegan dishes. Plus the mock chicken salad and tofu dishes are way too heavy for me anyway.



Today I started to get that feeling that I used to have when I was 17. If you don't know 17 was my best year ever, idk why but I was so happy, so carefree, and loving life. I would act a fool all the time but it wasn't out of control, it was just having good fun all the time. I always looked for things to go right and for the slightest thing positive out of every situation. I was always in a good mood and smiling, I would bring sunshine everywhere I went, hence the nickname sunshine. I woke up and was excited about life in general. I was either mellow happy or just out right excited and very rarely was I ever in a bad mood for any reason. My bf at the time always said I was always celebrating life and I could see the beauty in everything. Another friend said I had such a zeal for life that he has never seen before in anyone. Today I felt that again, it felt sooooooo good.



I'm not sure if I've had a hormone imbalance and that is why I've been so unhappy and so pissy at work and just blah all the time. I mean I've been better since the MC and the diet change but not exactly back to ME. People at work have been confronting me for a little while now saying I have a bad attitude problem everyday with everyone and I don't see it, but now I sort of do. I see that I've been taking my job way too seriously and that I need to relax. I also need to not take life so seriously, I used to be so happy and I would let things just roll off my back, I would hardly ever stress over ANYTHING. I know when to take things seriously but to stress over anything wasn't worth it.

This IUD puts off progesterone and today I've felt like the real me so I'm wondering if the IUD has anything to do with the way I feel. I'm loving the way I feel right now and I hope its not just one of those one out of a million perfect days where I feel like the real me then tomorrow go back to not being happy again.

I'll update tomorrow and let you know!

Day 38

Today's Eats:
Spinach freshness smoothie 24 oz (1c packed spinach, 6 frozen strawberries, 1 banana, 1 orange, 1c ice) YUMMY!!! This is my favorite yet!
3 BBQ flax crackers
Handful of veggie chips
1 can Amy's spicy vegan chili

Day 37

Its now 9:22 pm and I just had my first BM of the day. Man, why does pain medication have to stop you up so bad!! Anyway, I'm still raggin' and my cramps were awful last night at work!! I was weak and dizzy all night and really didn't want to be there but I seriously needed the money and it was my only day I got to work this week (since I missed my first two days on the schedule due to my lovely kidney stones). I took my pain meds just in case something crazy decided to happen and I almost cut one in half to take just to ease my cramps a little b/c they were out of control!!!!!!!!!

I toughed it out and decided it would be a lot better on my body if I didn't do any more damage with pain medication and let it heal itself. Today my cramps are bearable! YAY!!

Since I'm not quite regular I still don't have the need to eat much so I haven't forced anything. I did notice today that my chest has completely cleared up from the breakouts and all that is left is some hyperpigmentation. My forehead, on the other hand, still looks like connect the dots; just without the numbers LOL.

Today's Eats:
Victoria's Favorite Dark Green Smoothie 24 oz (1 bunch dandelion greens, 4 roma tomatoes, 3c water) REMIND ME TO NEVER DRINK THIS AGAIN YUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Not sure how much pure water yet, not sure what time I'm going to bed
4 BBQ flax seed crackers
1 medium mixed green salad with chopped mushrooms, chopped onions, 1 carrot stick, 1/2 avocado and Braggs.
a few "scoops" with salsa
1 apple with almond butter

Day 36

Well now that the stone has passed and all the pain meds have entered my clean body, now comes the constipation. By the end of my morning smoothie I have usually eliminated at least 2 or 3 times but so far I have not eliminated anything in 2 days. Even on the 20th before my ER visit I had 3 BM's and then vomited all my morning smoothie (sorry TMI).

So Today I drank some laxative tea I had left over from my MC before I laid down to go to bed (well nap) before going into work.

When I woke up nothing..............after my smoothie............nothing....................up until 1 am.............nothing. But finally around 2 am I strained and strained and finally had a BM and boy did it hurt. It was hard and felt like needles. I only had one large BM though and that was it.

I wasn't really all that hungry at work for some reason, I guess b/c I'm backed up and until I get regular I'm not gonna feel like eating anything.

Today's Eats:
Smoothie 24 oz
80+ oz of pure water
homemade trail mix (handful of soaked almonds, handful of sea veggies, handful of dehydrated veggie chips, 2 BBQ flax crackers)
1 Medium mixed green salad with 1/2 avocado, chopped mushrooms, chopped onions, 1 carrot stick, 3 cherry tomatoes and Braggs.

When I got home (which today was late 8am, and which I never eat past 4am) I had an add water and seasoning packet and throw in the microwave hot and sour soup with rice noodles bowl.

Day 35 - The Recovery

Well after one hellova night I have slept most of the day today. The pain meds have really helped even though I REALLY don't want to take them!! I have to urinate in a strainer and I think I passed the whole stone. It was black and really hard but it was so small. I don't see how something so small can cause so much pain. I still haven't found anything about the way I eat and how to deal or prevent kidney stones; I'm still looking though.

I was hesitant about drinking my green smoothie today b/c of one thing I read was that the green smoothie causes stones and also it's what I puked up all night last night. Well I know my green smoothies are good for me so I went ahead and made one anyway. It made like 40 oz and I broke it up into 3 drinks instead of 2 like I usually do. I'm just going to sip on them all day.

I wish I could have waited till today so the stone would have passed to save a bunch of money on the ER bill with the Dr. and the lab work, the IV and the CT but I was on the floor with pain and didn't know what was wrong so I guess it's a good thing I went ahead.

Update: I've done really well today, no more pain and I've been able to eat normally and keep it down.

Today's Eats:
Tropical Smoothie (2c spinach leaves, 1 mango, 1 banana, 1c pineapple, 2c water)
80+ oz pure water
1 medium mixed green salad w/ 1/2 avocado, chopped mushrooms, chopped onions and braggs (I'm chilling out on the tomatoes too) w/ a handful of soaked almonds
1 serving of vegan spinach noodles w/ 9 roasted garlic triscuits and a small handful of veggie chips

In other words since I've slept so much today I have eaten my snacks and meals at the same time and only eaten 3 times today.

Day 34 - MY ER visit

I started my day off normally today with my usual green smoothie. I had gotten up and polished off the last 1/2 of the Dancing Dandelion smoothie I had yesterday.

I was sure I started my period today so I plugged and it hurt and I started getting some pain in my right side and some weird feeling in the downstairs area. So I took out my tampon and put in another..........the same thing happened so I just removed it permanently. As the night went on I was attempting to get ready for work and the pain in my side just kept getting worse and worse. The pain got so bad I fell to my knees and had a VERY hard time getting up. My grandmother had to rush me to the ER. Once we got there she had to put me into a wheelchair b/c I was unable to walk.

I was just hoping the pain in my sides was temporary and would go away for good instead of escalating to this.

I wanted to refuse any kind of medication but I was in excruciating pain and even though I tried to research pain in my side on a raw food diet I couldn't take the pain any longer and my search results were not helping, mainly b/c I didn't know what was going on.

I received an IV with a bag of fluids and they hit me up with some nausea and pain medicine. btw the pain got so bad I started vomiting. They did a CT on my lower abdomen and found a kidney stone which was well on its way of passing b/c of the position of the stone. They also found a cyst on my left ovary...........its been there for about 5 years or more, its harmless and that's why I haven't gotten it removed.

Today when I woke up I started researching kidney stones and a raw food diet...............not good. I did find some great natural remedies to use for my next kidney stone. Even though I have NEVER had kidney stones in my life, from what I've researched you are prone to get more when you are on a raw food diet, and this is probably the reason for my odd side pain that goes from one side to the next. Maybe b/c I'm not 100% raw, or something. I don't know what to think, I don't want to give up on raw or vegan but I'm hearing all this negative that its b/c I eat too many green leafy vegetables and that is over doing it on the calcium. But how can something so good cause something so bad and painful? I don't even think I get enough greens as it is. So I'd really like to know where this is coming from.

Oh, and my period stopped, so maybe I was just spotting again or the trauma from the stone caused it to stop. I'm doing a lot more research on these stones and a raw food diet, I'll keep posted as to my findings.

Today's Eats:
Last 1/2 of Dancing Dandelion smoothie from yesterday
this was all I had today and even this got thrown up at the hospital.